Community Health Network Bariatric Services

4/8/09

Today is my 48th birthday. I am not concerned with the number because I feel I am starting this year off on the right track. This will be my healthiest since my early twenties. My sugars and blood pressure are both under control with diet; my body feels better. I am still working on wrapping my mind around all the stuff going on. I am very grateful for the preparation I placed into getting this surgery. There have been many changes taking place in my life. My old habit would be to eat away the frustration. Usually with a very large burger and some fries. The weird thing is that I still want these things. I just know I can’t have them because they will make me miserable for hours. That is the advantage of the surgery. But it is still difficult. I find myself being more emotional and displaying these feelings more. Is it because I can no longer stuff them with food? Is it grieving over the loss of food along with the other losses and changes that are taking place? I think it is all of the above. The roller coaster of emotions is so much more then I thought it would be even though I was prepared for it and had some coping options in place. I cannot imagine going through this process without preparation and practicing the lifestyle changes that are necessary to be successful with this surgery.

4/3/09

Four weeks LapBand surgery post op. I am not taking my blood pressure any more. I am not taking my diabetic medicine any more, and the levels are in a normal range. This is the best news. I am feeling good. My weight loss since the surgery is 17.2 pounds and since I started my pre-op diet I have lost 32.6 pounds.

Bariatric surgery is not easy or for the weak. I think because I am in the field I have a “bypass” mentality. I should only be eating 2 ounces per meal, thus the freak out yesterday.

I am working on trying to get away from the constant thought of food and weight. This is a double-edged sword though because I need to journal thoughts and intake to keep me accountable. History shows me when I don’t do this, I don’t do well. Keeping food logs keeps me honest about what I am eating. I wish I could have constant thought (and action) about exercise. I have set a goal for myself to get on the treadmill this weekend and back to my “Fit to Fitter” class here at the bariatric center.

I feel like I am over the drama (especially mine) and upset of Dr. Ditslear leaving our program. I will miss Dr. Ditslear so much, but am thrilled to be able to work more with Dr. Berghoff and looking forward to how he can help us continue to move the program forward.

4/2/09

Yippee! Today is solid food day per the dietitian. I am a little nervous. Solid food does not mean fast food. McDonald’s is my weakness and I must, must stay away from that place. There is nothing of nutritional value in there. I do not know many people who go to McDonald’s for the salad.

I had a chicken breast for lunch. It was dry and stuffed with raisins, walnuts and a little stuffing. I was able to eat two-thirds of it and of course this started the freak out mode. Actually how much could I eat to get back the tight feeling? The good news is that the chicken breast stayed with me for hours. I did not get home until 7:30 tonight and for dinner could only eat a half cup of chicken salad and baked potato.

OK Pam, calm down, measure your food and listen to what your body tells you.

3/26/09

I cannot believe it has been nearly 3 weeks. My weight loss to this point has been awesome. The hardest part to this point has been the last week of full liquids when all I wanted to do is chew, chew and chew some more.

Sometimes being a nurse is not a helpful thing, especially a bariatric nurse during this process. Every ache or gas pain I am sure is a band slip or a heart attack. Any sudden pinch or jab I was sure was the band popping open and damaging all my internal organs even though I know this does not happen. But as the aches, pinches and jabs subside, these crazy thoughts are going with them.

Several people have seen the Indianapolis Woman magazine article about my surgery and that they will be following my progress. This is very flattering, but it is also a lot of pressure. I know I can lose weight. I am very good at losing weight. I have done it many times. The hard part, and the part I am anxious about is reaching my goal and maintaining that goal past a couple of months. My normal pattern is to go great guns on a diet for three months then fall off the wagon. That is why the band was necessary for me. It will help me through those trouble spots.

I am pretty much eating the same thing everyday. There is not much puree that I like. I did step out last night and had Taco Bell pintos & beans. I am usually not a big bean fan, but these were really good and the perfect amount.

3/23/09

I have been a raving lunatic and a major grump! I am going to work on my attitude. I don’t know if I am grumpy because I am grieving the loss of junk food, choice of portion size or it is just plain work stress with the changes that have happened here in the last week. Most likely it is a combination of all of the above.

One minute you ask me and I tell you that this is really easy, a piece of cake. Then ask me again a minute later and it is really hard. I realize that change takes several months and I am in the early stages. This is a process and I can do it!!!

3/13/09

I am one week post-op feeling good. Still tired by the end of the day, but overall see improvement every day. My goal today was to try to get in everything that I was supposed to. I did not do too badly. I do not feel the tightness like I did the first couple of days. Here’s the crazy part: I am now nervous because it is not as tight. Now I can eat more, will this keep increasing? I am at 72 ounces, 40 of which are water. The dietitian says I am fine and still eating less then the average band patient. I keep having a bypass diet in my mind. I need to get over that.

3/11/09

Today was my first day back to work. I lasted about 5 hours and am wiped out. I am getting in more and more fluids each day. Today was the first day that I might have eaten too much. I went to a Thai restaurant with my co-workers and was just eating some of Missy’s soup. It is my favorite soup and is so good. All of a sudden, I got that feeling that it was just sitting on my chest and the back of my throat. I got up and went to the bathroom and by the time I walked back there  it had passed. I think I may have eaten too fast. Wow, was that uncomfortable!

3/9/09

I woke up today and was feeling so much better. I set a goal for two 16 ounce bottles of water plus my meals. Total fluid intake today including meals was 36 ounces. Yeah, I don’t have to get fluid out of the band. I might have overdone a little bit today as I went out with my mom and aunt this afternoon for a couple of hours.

I think I felt hungry for the first time but I am not sure. Was I just wanting something because I smelled all the food, the food I like, like fast food? I could not have eaten more than a bite. I believe it was what we call “head hunger”. This is something I need to work on and figure out the difference and how to recognize it.

3/8/09

Today is better. I am able to get some stuff down. I am nowhere close to where I should be, but slow steady progress is what I am after. I don’t want Lori to take fluid out of the band because I don’t want to be hungry in one week. Today I got in a total of 25 ounces which included some protein. Still some moderate discomfort. It is like a pressure in your chest and you feel like you have a terrible gas bubble that you can’t get up. I almost asked my mom to revert back 47 years and burp me.

I am exhausted! I may have overdone today, but I have to get moving so I can get back to work by Wednesday. Here is my schedule: get up and shower. Move to the couch. Eat 1 ounce of something. Go to treadmill for 5-7 minutes. Back to couch. Consider a nap. Try to drink some water or part of a protein supplement. Give my mom direction on something she is doing for me. Start the whole process over minus the shower for lunch. Well, I will just keep plugging along.

3/7/09

Dr. Ditslear called today to check in on me. I also had a hiatal hernia that he needed to repair. He said my band was pretty tight because of all the swelling. He stated I should work on clear liquids only and should be a little better each day. Lori, Dr. Ditslear’s PA, also called to check on me. She said if the band was too tight, and I could not keep/get clear liquids down, to call and she could try and take some fluid out.

The band is really tight. I am not vomiting, but I am not taking in very much liquid. I am a little nervous and so is my mom who is with me. For those of you that know me, I am a real proponent of getting in plenty of fluids. I only got in about 20 ounces today, including meals, because of the discomfort. I am not having pain from my surgery, it is more soreness.

Today was rough. This is harder than I thought and a little scary with the swallowing problem. I really don’t feel good. I am so glad my mom is here.